" rEpLeTe WiD fUn "

Why chose death when we can fight to live?????

2011-09-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

“There is no wealth but life”, said John Ruskin.

“So true”, says I.

A couple of days ago, a woman I knew had killed herself by hanging. Sad-it is. But I could not sympathize with her.

Wondering why? I’ll explain.

She left behind two little children (a boy and a girl) who are not aware that their mother has passed away. Kids of age 7 and 4 are too young to realise the effects of a death on people. The little girl is still looking for her mother’s saree pallu to hold on to while she falls asleep. It was a heart-breaking scene to see the sleepy-baby struggling to get out of her aunt’s hold to reach her dead mother’s side. The older boy doesn’t want to look at his mother’s corpse as it did not look like his mother.

How could a mother not think of the lives of her little ones and take such a cowardly decision?
It has come to the open that her life was not a bed of roses, but whose is??? Problems are a major part of anyone’s life, more so for a married woman. I always thought (with no intension to insult/hurt my male friends) that women have more emotional stamina and than men. Although, such suicides make me think again.

For ages women have undergone and survived serious emotional athyachaar from issues like dowry,
abusive husbands and mother-in-laws, etc. But, black-or-blue, they managed to live through it at least for the sake of their children. Even though this girl did fight through certain similar issues, she managed to pull-it-off for almost a decade.

A single moment’s impulse and the loss of common sense resulted with the end of four people’s lives. She is now is peace, but she did manage to take with her - everyone else’s. Unfortunately, no clear reason for the move has been left behind. This has allowed the society to arrive at conclusions which, I am sure, are far more grotesque than she could have had in mind.

‘Angry husband hits and hangs her’

‘Guilty of her fights and actions towards her missing MIL, she hangs’

‘Decides to escape drunken husband’s athyachaar forever’

...so on and so forth.

It would be highly idiotic of me if I said, ‘as a woman, just go through all your troubles silently’. I know that I cannot and I ever-so-certainly will not. But, it is for sure that there is always a better way than suicide. Had she stopped for one second and thought of the reaction her actions would have on her kids, they would still have a mother. A mother is a very important asset to one’s life and those kids have lost it even before they could have a proper taste of it. :(

Whatever said and done, the ones that are at a greater loss are her kids and I cannot bring myself to forgive her for her actions. She was a very strong person and her end at her own hands is such a blow that would take us quite some time to get over.

Till then, with prayers for the well-being of the kids and hopes that no one else I know takes such a futile decision.

God, you were no better too.

2010-10-12T07:32:00.000-07:00

     We sat down and spoke our minds to finally reach the topic, ‘Why dint Ram trust Sita?’ (thanks to the advert. of Ramayan serial). My FIL and I were wondering if the older version of Ramayan featured Lav-Kush or if it was in the new one only. We remembered Sita being asked to walk through fire and also the part where she enters the earth after being tired of the insecurity of Ram and injustice of the world. My FIL started explaining that Ram heard a dobhi (washer-man) tell his wife that he ain’t like Ram who will accept his wife even after she’s been in the presence of a stranger for over a year. That was how the world worked it-seems (rolling eyes, I think it still works that way). Ram had to prove to the world that his wife was as PURE as gold and thus had her walk through fire. It was important that people dint talk rubbish (as I put it) and no one bothered about their own trust on the person being blamed.

     My question is - why would Ram have his wife go through hell instead of standing up against the world to support her (they sure say he believed her fidelity)? Shouldn’t he have been the one to set an example to the world that (he obviously knew) was going to worship him?

     It is said that Sita was born as Vedavanti in her past janma and Raavan tried to molest her. Vedavanthi who was undeterred in her thap (thavam) to attain Vishnu was angered by Raavan’s attitude, cursed him saying she would be born again and be the reason for his downfall and walked through fire to escape the mad-man. Jeez! I pity Raavan for being who he has been in both his janmas. Pretty sad huh? Due to the above incident Sita had had to walk through fire so as to quench the anger of Vedavanthi, who was nonetheless but her own self. Pretty cool an explanation for having her walk through fire. Phew…

     It is unfortunate that this piece of news is not widely known. Whenever I hear the story of Sita, I feel pity for her. Even when the world knew that she was so true that a blade of grass would create a ring of fire around her which Raavan couldn’t cross, no matter how hard he tried, she still had to prove herself. If that was Sita’s condition, I can’t question the conditions of today’s women :(

     I wonder – Why dint Ram get into the fire with Sita? He claimed to believe her but agreed for the agni-pariksha (test of fire) just for the world. P..lea..se..! He was away from his wife too. Shouldn’t he have proved himself? Why dint anyone question if he was a pathni-vratha (one woman man) and so much so as not think of another woman? Why was his fidelity taken for granted and Sita’s wasn’t?

     Ram is known as Ek patni vratha, but why isn’t Sita well-known as Ek pathi vratha? Shouldn’t we give Sita greater importance than Ram?

     The world has been unfair even during the age that we know of only from the epic. We have seen great evolutions in the cultural and social fronts along with major discoveries in science. But, we still look at women with doubt or, as in most cases, with disgust for no fault of theirs. (Thanks to Ram for creating the benchmark – rolling eyes).

    And we women (most of us) pray, ‘God, my husband should be like Ram’ and we never learn… Do we? I am not sure if I can end my unnecessary musings with “God save us”, for he was no better too.

What do i say...?

2010-09-10T10:12:00.000-07:00

Women have been fighting for their 'equal rights', but I am wondering what exactly are we looking for in that sector? Just political rights? Or can we say - equality in society? We always thought of the bigger picture, but not the small passport size image that we leave behind at a place called HOME.

Why is that we (women ourselves) think that we can ask for standing up right against any man in the outer world but we still end up being those who listen to them at home?

Looking at my grand-mother, mother, mother-in-law and many other women in my family, I just end up thinking - What the hell are we looking for when we say 'equal rights for women?'
Even as girls who are just 5 yrs old, we are told how to sit, talk, walk, eat, and behave with our own siblings (who are boys of course). At such an early age, when a girl can't think for herself, we have so many people directing the way we spend each and every day of our lives. Although it is funny to think of all the times I personally ended up screaming at my mom for giving me directions for doing things, today I realize she was right. I am expected to do certain things, exactly the way she used to direct me. I said, 'Grow up mom; you are still living in last century. Who's gonna worry if I follow those rules or not?' Oh! by god I was so wrong. Now, I can only smile when I find myself in such situations :)

I always envied my brother because, like with many other men in our country, no one bothered if he walked making noise with his shoe, shouted when angry, slammed the door, laughed-out-loud on a joke, spoke fast and loud due to excitement, sat along with the older men of the house, slept crossed legged, or ate directly from the tawa on the stove. (I do them to, but only when I don't have an audience)

Mostly, we girls are brought up in such an environment that we can't sit or sleep next to our brothers after a certain age and we just end up growing as strangers in the same household. We are always taught to say 'It's fine. I'm ok.' even when we don’t feel so, because - that's the way it is :)

After all this rambling, I am now wondering why I started writing all this? I go to bed after posting this, probably with hopes that things might change at dawn. But who am I kidding? I know the truth and I now say, 'It's fine. I'm ok' and I mean it (most of the time).

...I wonder

2010-07-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

'Why so?' is a question I have always asked anyone who told me 'It has to be done only this way'. I never thought that was right except of course certain things couldn't be changed, like cooking or sewing, etc. As a girl (in India), there has always been a lot of things that I couldn't question. I was always shut up with a simple sentence that goes like 'Just do as you are told'. Things are no different even when marriage has come in the picture. After own family telling us what to do and how to do, a new family is replaced and takes up the same work without any hesitance and we live by it because we always did.

Most of our life time we spend listening to some one or the other and we rarely notice that we never listened to ourselves. Childhood flies by listening to parents and teachers. Teenage whooshes past with us listening to family, professors and friends. Later comes the worst part, the society. Every single person we meet tells us what is wrong and what is correct, the best thing to do and the best way to do it, the best college to join and the best course to study, for the love of joy they even told us what to we should like and what we should not.

At times I am sure we felt like turning around and saying, ‘enough’; but we never did.
WHY? I wonder…

A mother to be

2009-12-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

She walked out of the gynecologist’s with her head held high,
Like she had won the only gold in Olympics
‘Look at her. What’s with the glow?’ people asked
Only for her to shy away with a smile that meant ‘I know and u don’t’.

She glides through the crowd as if they were clouds
Makes her way in and out like a fish in the weeds
All around her there was chaos but inside her was peace
Peace that if reached the world outside, would bring serenity.

Life with all its wonder has began to grow with in her
‘Congratulations’ said the gynecologist, ‘Thank god’ was her reaction
‘What’s god got to do with? Thank your husband’ smiled the gynec.
Smiling like a child, she walked out of the gynecologist’s with her head held high.

WTH!

2009-12-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

The feeling of uncertainty is a part of everyone’s life. I am sure all of you have felt that at some point of time or the other. There is so much that you want and so much more that happens. Why is this so? We have no idea.
Life changes so drastically all of a sudden that we are at times flabbergasted at the speed of the change. As Indians, we live in a society which has set standards that has to be followed. Most of the times, I have questioned the functioning of the same. But it was always in vain. We Indians have grown a great deal when it comes to binding with family, especially our daughters. From considering them as commodities, we have now started looking at them on par with anyone else. But, sometimes, something holds back most of us or all of us.
Every girl, irrespective of her stature in the society, is expected to compromise. This again, I am not stating that no man compromises. My point is that a woman is expected to compromise, by default. And my question is, ‘Why?’

Saw I...

2008-02-13T04:52:00.000-08:00

Saw I...
Two sparrows sitting on my window sill,
Chirping Chirping and Chirping!
After a long time i noticed-
that the sparrows have come to vicinity.

They come everyday, without fail
for they find grains waiting for them..
Flying in and out of window with mouths full,
there is no danger for them, hope they knew !

Watching them closely, one such day
their anxiety and fear hit me hard,
looking left and right before every mouth,
they came in with constant fear..

then came to me the realisation
that there is a lesson to learn from them,
that wherever whenever whatever;
you never know what's on the prawl!

Before flying away with an adieu,
after Chirping Chirping and Chirping
Two sparrows sitting on my window sill,
Saw I...

Priya

Waiting........!

2007-11-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

The clock's ticking away towards midnight.
I lay there on my bed waiting...
waiting very patiently for him to come.

Growing restless for i have been waiting -
wating for long, to feel him gently,

Caress me. Woo me. Love me.

I am waiting with my eyes wide open
for him to come and kiss it close.

Long past midnight
and he's still not arrived, But, i wait
for i know he will come.

He is late! Still i don complaint
'coz I know he must be busy -
busy kissing another pair of eyes.

Another pair of eyes, like mine
waiting to close with a flutter
and fall asleep!!!

Come over soon dear Mr. Sleep,
'coz i am weary -
weary with the agony of waiting.

Priya

...!

2007-11-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

Changes.
True!

Every Second?
Yes! Almost. No!

Obvious Changes?
Yes! Probably. May be. May be not. No!

Consistant?
Acorse! (Of course)

Liable?
think so!?! (...am still thinking)

Know What is it?
Me!!! :)
Life!!!...Everything!!!

Priya

RoW rOw RoW........rOw your boat...!!!

2007-07-31T00:16:00.001-07:00

Confused? Please don be..i aint writing any rhyme…I’m writing about - rowing experience…!
I’ve always liked the adventurous things I’ve seen in TV. The things I knew I could never do….
For example, I saw the movie “Cliffhanger” and I thought climbing those gorgeous looking mountains would be fun… I saw “Vertical Height” and I thought Mount Everest was the most beautiful thing in the world and decided atleast once in my life time I will climb that majestic beauty… I saw the Free Willy series and I thought the sea was so enchanting and whales were cute, so I wan’d to check the deep blue sea and the whales…

Apart from getting my inspirations from TV, I also had other passions… I wan’d to get into any one of the wing of the armed forces( INA was my most favourite)… wan’d to finish the 3 years in NCC… Wanned to learn Bharatnatyam… BE able to dance western dance efficiently… Wished I could learn Ballet or Gymnastics… So on and so forth…

But……I’ve never-ever thought about ROWING… I used to enjoy watching it on TV though… As I always said, God brought this opportunity of being able to learn how to row, my way… A Rowing competition between companies, an event which the company I worked had been taking part for two years… Even this year it was taking part and wanted people to participate… I was skeptical about it in the beginning, but decided to try my luck at home and when I got my permission, I went for the practice.

I was marveled by the way things happened in Madras Boat Club… It has the honour of being 150 years old along with a great reputation… I wasn’t there to start my practice but just to see how everything went and decide upon whether I will continue or not………I loved it there and decided to continue…….

The next day, I was all set to take up my rowing sessions, I was there and went thru the warm ups and did the ergo…(Ergometer is a machine which helps u get an insight to the rower’s movements and the oar’s as well…)and then waited to get hold of the bank tub or simply a static boat. This is a boat where a person realizes how his movements are going to be and how he has to use the oars when he gets into the boat which can move……but unfortunately I dint get the chance to use the bank tub…And my coach came back from his coxing for others and thus started our circuits…they are nothing but a series or exercises to be don together without pause…and trust me, for a person like me who’s an alien to exercises, the circuits were tough…
Actually, I was wondering why we had to do so much of rigourous exercises after all the rowing…? The explanation I got was perfect…It goes like this….
When a 700 mts race is held, the first half will be a cakewalk and mostly the last 200 mts will be determining the winners...So, doing rigourous exercises when we think everything is over, will improve our stamina which will also help back to back racing as well…!

Brilliant isn’t it…..!

Only after getting into the water will I know how it feels to actually row a boat, both for pleasure and for a race…!!!
I am waiting to experience the feeling of rowing the different kinds of boats available…Scull, pairs, pairs-doubles, fours, fours-doubles, pleasure, out rigger and of course bank tub :-)

Sculling is one person handling both the oars and basic rowing would be in pairs or in fours where there are two and four people respectively with an oar each…In pair, the person in the front is called the STROKE and the one behind is called BOW (the first two are called stroke pair and the next two are called the bow pair in fours… This way, we got sculling pairs(two rowers with two oars each), sculling fours(four rowers with two oars each)…!

And finally, I went rowing on a boat that was not static…!

WOW…! It was such exhilarating feeling!!! I should accept that I was freaking out from inside coz the open span of water in front was scaring me a bit…

I was in pairs and am the stroke…I face the cox and I should say, mine was really tolerant with my squeaks and brainless behaviour of letting go of the oars for a couple of times…The boat rocks like a cradle when rowed in a wrong way…and I was really good at rocking the boat than rowing it smoothly…! After a couple of mins, I kinda got over my panicky feeling and felt real cool when me and my partner (bow) rowed steadily and the boat moved comfortably…!

I realized that fear can stop one from doing wat he/she wants to do or enjoy doing…I will not say, I was all that cool, but the panic did reduce gradually and in few more day, I’m sure it’l VANISH…!

But for that, I need to be real careful and remember the words of my cox as a MaNtRa: “Don even dare dream of letting go of the oars…” – holding the oars, help in balancing the boat and more importantly, STAYING THE BOAT…!

Now, I’m hoping I learn to do the rowing properly without letting my oars go and making sure don fall into the water…ah! And of course, not to take my cox and Bow along with me…!

Luv
aLiEn

P.S.: As reminded by my friend i jus decided i would also write down the very thought that i was gonna be on the boat, gave many a reason to laugh their heart out..!
Being a hefty person, the thought was that the moment i sat in the boat-it would go down to the waterbed as in loony toons and be sitting there with a glum look and waving goodbye...! A friend who was allegedly expected to be my patner when i went rowing in the water now flatly states, she aint gonna be my partner for she loves her life......! we used to laugh together thinking about ou fate as no one else for sure would not trust either of us andaccompany...This leaves the both of us - TRUSTING eachother.... :-)

“Pourquoi………?”………“Why………?”

2007-07-19T00:26:00.001-07:00

Have you got stuck half way through your sentences, while trying to make a point and wonder what u have to say next……….?

It happens to me most of the times…! Not only for the fact that I got the extraordinary talent of forgetting things in a jIfFy, but also because most of the times, I just cant put in exact words for my emotions…! I have always had this problem, of assuming, understanding & explaining a situation or a problem in a totally different way, than most of my friends…and have ended up quarrelling, fighting and sometimes even losing my friends…!

The most recent of such an argument, was with one of my friends, on the topic – “LoVe” – the feeling that’s got to have your hands and knees shaking, sweating beads of perspiration forming, have a dry throat and a dazed look (or so the amazing movies of Hollywood and Bollywood say…!).

She and I,went on arguing for a long time and at one point I couldn explain myself to her anymore and I dropped the argument….this rarely happens to me coz I’m a gal who loves arguing n wont stop till I get my point across…she then told me, "write it down gal, coz u are able to express yourself better that way."…And thus I sat down to write this - a piece of ma mind…Just for the sake of it…!

The argument began to outta control from the point where I stated (as I always do), “I don’t get it!!! Why do people fall in love?” and my friend started explaining to me that, “love, does not happen after a good day’s planning, but happens all of a sudden…!” Agreed! But why does it have to have catastrophe as it reaction?(all the time - according to me, only sometimes - according to my friend…!)

As a matter of fact, I am not a person against love, though I don understand very well about that ABSTRACT feeling or whatever it is called…But my only question is, “Shouldn’t Love supposed to keep the ones who fall for it happy? Shouldn’t it make lives better, than destroy it? Why does it happen in such a situation where it’s very clear that happiness is not in the way?” I have always presumed and assumed that “LOVE” should have a happy ending…I know expecting fairy-tale-happy-ending all the time is ridiculous, but when the picture is clear, stating the fact beautifully, that the pathway will not lead to happiness if love comes that way, then why do people want to be in the horrible path, falling 'MADLY' in love…!

Oh…did I use the term 'MADLY' with which people take advantage of (the word) “LOVE”?

Just because there are examples of people who walked on the surface of earth, exclaimed to be MADLY in love, everyone around now, are taking that phrase for their advantage to escape questions like, “Why did u fall in love when u know its not going to work out?” they don’t have an answer which clarifies their point of view, but explains to the one listening about how insecure the person is…!

If its not insecurity or the feeling of being totally unsure, why do they say they don know why they fell in love, even when they know its not going to end up giving happiness to them and to the other?…What is the use in calling a feeling 'love', when it is not being reciprocated?

TRUE is the fact, that love doubles n give more happiness when its given or shared…but wat about the love which is, yes…given, but is not accepted…! Only when its accepted does it give happiness…Otherwise, it ruins even the little happiness that’s around that person…!

If I accept the fact that love can happen anywhere, to anyone and towards anyone, then any person can fall in love with anyone, irrespective of age and marital status ( I as a person consider only these two as important factor for a man and a woman to be happy together… as again, this is knowledge, collected from novels I read and movies I watch . By marital status I mean unattached by the bond of marriage or the bond of love…) Any one could have any number of 'love' in their life going hand in hand at the same time…This thouhgt if becomes true, then rather than calling ourselves 'civilized', we should start calling ourselves 're-incarnations of the ape men'.

Such a behaviour would be wrong, Isn't it? most of might not accept when i say,' mistakes done by mistake is forgiveable, but a mistake done knowingly is equal to sin'...Extra-marital affair is wrong, but having a side track in one's love life aint wrong???

Most of the one-siders ( ones who love some one n haven told the person about the love, but still keep longing for the love and those who love someone and their love’s not been reciprocated-due to various reasons) think this is the last thing that can happen to them and they have lost the love of their life…but I think its their mistake…if there had to be love in their life from that particular person, then it would surely reach them, but if it doesn’t come, then they are searching or waiting for it at the wrong door-step…

I know many will not agree with my views ( most of my own friends don’t…most of them react saying, “you don know how it is gal, so drop it.”), but even from the point of view of a person who has witnessed love only from the audience perspective, I think that LOVE is being HARASSED for what it is not………!

Only love aint gonna help anyone…Love implied correctly to the right person is a BOON…!

Wish I am blessed with the BOON soon.... :-)

LOVE
Alien

!!!…………HoLiKaBoOsYs…………!!!

2007-06-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

This is what I say when I feel totally flabbergasted........I’m sure you must be wondering what I get so flabbergasted about…I’ll tell you my friends, its nothing but eNgLiSh………..!

Dont shoot up ur eyebrows like that....its true.....!

It’s always been a subject which boosted my final percentage all through my school years...... It was by fate that I took up English as my major subject for my bachelor’s degree, but I couldn’t excel in using the language very effectively… a friend of mine, had the gift of using her language in a brilliant way (by now, you should’ve known it’s you Dhanya)….Her sentence constructions, vocabulary, method of writing anything in a very sophisticated manner was…sorry IS really amazing…!

This language drives me crazy whenever I open my thesaurus…Almost every single word there in that book, has a minimum of 10 different synonyms and most of the times one word cannot be replaced by another, due to the fact that no word means the same…..! Asked to write anything, I can only write the way I think….that is, I write whatever runs through my mind at that instant and do not think of any other word other than the ones I use in my day-to-day language…!

I could never think of the words my friends use in their essays n most of the times I wouldn’t even know such a word existed…! I always though English was the easiest language and I always could do well in that subject but college open my tightly shut eyes about how copious and heterogenous it is (as C. L. Wrenn calls it n so it is).

Phew……! This language can blow the air outta anyone, if it was challenged with….I don think even, ’Italian stallion rocky’ would be able to win over…..! It is the world champion…..!

I should tell u guys, that I thought I would be called a COXCOMB if I used a high funda language in school so I never took an attempt to learn new words n even if I did learn, I never used it n I so forgot it eventually or as mostly in my case-instantaneously…But I realized that I was only being a total…. …….ADDLE-BRAIN...BERSERK…CHUMP…DOLTISH…AN EASY MARK…FUTILE…GULLIBLE…HALFWIT…INNOCUOUS…JEJUNE…KOOKY…LUDICROUS…MORON…NINCOMPOOP…OAF…PUERILE…QUOZ…RASH…SHTICK…TWIT…UNDERWIT…VAPID…WOD.XEROTIC…YO-YO…ZERO….by not learning the language properly n making use of its vastness…(I really really regret it now…but mending my ways is posing a harder problem than I thought, as my brains have started to rust due to lack of usage of words n they refuse to absorb new words quickly…!)

Phew…..!Lemme tell u something…I did have to do a lotta research to find these words…and only after typing it down I realized I’d never-ever-forever use them in my life, unless required in a stage which might be like, say…saving a life.

Such being the state of me, I always thought that writing elegantly was not my piece of cake, but still end up beginning my career in that field…!(god bless me!!!)But English being the language of the world(as I cal it),it is the only medium thru which we can communicate to majority of the world and every literate human being (acorse the 1 alive)on its surface…!

Now…now….! Can anyone tell me why I wasted so much time writing about English while I don prefer writin much n think that this language is hard to handle… Coming to think of it, the time I spent doing the research for this eassay is much higher than the ones I’ve spent on my college assignments as well..!

Hmmm…..

But, why???

This is a question I think I’ll never be able to answer………!

Luv
priya

Dreams

2007-06-18T05:01:00.000-07:00

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Langston Hughes

Still I Rise

2007-06-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,S
till I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I riseUp from a past that's rooted in painI rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fearI rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clearI rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelo

Phenomenal Woman...!

2007-06-18T04:52:00.000-07:00

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

Harlem...!(Dream Deferred)

2007-06-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sagslike a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Huges

My first day in office..!

2007-06-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

I’ve always wonder’d wat it wud b like, to work in an office….being a fresher-I, like everyone else had my own dreams about how the office I work should b like n i’m placed in a place which comes no whr near my imagination….! U think this place aint that gud as my imagination is it…sorry guys, this place is high above my imagination…!

The fact that my parents n grand parents told me were perfectly right…!
It goes like this…” man proposes…god… ..disposes…!”
That became exactly right in my life…I wan’d to get into AFMC-Armed Forces Medical College as a nurse, as I always loved to b one…god, disposed this thought by giving me the venue for entrance exam, as pune..ha ha ha…! And due to pressure from family, I couldn take up ayurveda…and thus I landed in English Literature..! then I decided that I wud do my M.A right after my B.A but again god played his tricks on his loved one(or so I cal myself….ha ha ha) and I couldn take up regular college…!

So here I am in company, which stands as 1 of the top 20’s in the world, as writer – trainee…! Did I think..no..sorry..did I dream I’d land up in a place like this, wen I started from home to attend my first day in college…! And this is why I always believe in the phrase that man proposes god disposes…! But I’d like to say this n I think its true. Its experience that gives a man the best knowledge about LIFE n that’s why he always says - “everything that happens, happens for good…!”

And after landing in a company, I’ve started realisin that all that i wan’d to do would’n have led me to the place I’m in at the moment n that’s y god disposed all my wishes…! I’m happy about it now though…!

The moment I enter’d the office n was allotted a place for myself n now that I’m in the process of getting to know ppl around me, I realized that d corporate world, is jus not like the one we imagined wen we were students or not like the one we see in movies…! I thought it would b great fun to get into the corporate world after watching great many movies, of our own bollywood, but the first day I got to know the way ppl were working around me, I found out that it aint any piece of cake which would land up in our plate unless we really – really work had for it…!

The first thing I learnt about this world s dat wen u work, its with ppl of all age grp n the lesson u r taught in school n college that wen u have an elder around in an official environment, cal them sir or madam n that's how u give respect is totally false..! In reality, I’ve been told we call everyone with their first name, ur respect stays in ur heart n u can show it only by doing THE WORK GIVEN, WITH HEART N SOUL…!

Corporate world, is the one place which gives one a clear insight about himself n this helps him, to correct himself n learn to live up to the standards expected out of him…! Family teaches u abt love n understanding…school teaches u abt discipline n conduct, in a croud so alien as the other world and still make friends with it…college teaches us abt wat life n the struggle to live it, without the feeling of security family n school provided(Trust me …u really get to know about all the beady-eyed, arrow tail’d, sweet smiling evil n his effects) n the corporate world teaches u abt gain n lose, victory n failure, fame n shame n many more that will come ur way, whether u like it or not…it teaches u abt how tough it is to prove the world, tat u r worth trusting..! it gives u the best of the best if u give it ur BEST and destroys u completely, if u don have the capability to stand hard on ur ground n prove ur self….! As its said, “first impression the best impression, but if u fail make a correction”- but in here, there’s no chance for correction…wateva u do, it better b d best…!

These are the things(I think)I understand from wat I know is the corporate world, from wat I see in my own office (acorse it’s the 1 I work in) n from wat I’ve heard from my bro n others who have been in this Brutally-Loving(Corporate)world….!
(if my brains do tend to understand more abt this totally confounding world, I’l surely blog it in…!)

Tat was the impression my first day in my office gave me, hope I get such trances everyday so that it helps me mend my way n stick around here for quiet sometime…!(I’ve already started making amendments...my language is improving…and considering my friend dhanya’s pleading request, I’ve stopped using no-no words in the office n reduced using it tremendously even outside as I don wanna have after-effects of using it, in the office…! He he eh…! This way corporate world also mends ur bad language…!)

To much of blah blah…I know…!
Chao for now…
Hope to getting back soon…>!
Luv
priya

2006-02-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in neverending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Outdid the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazedand gazedbut little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

wordsworth

Who Ever Loved that Loved not at First Sight?

2006-02-02T07:22:00.000-08:00

Who Ever Loved that Loved not at First Sight?

It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overruled by fate.
When two are stripped,
long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should love,
the other win;
And one especially do we affect Of two gold ingots,
like in each respect: The reason no man knows;
let it suffice What we behold is censured by our eyes.
Where both deliberate,
the love is slight: Who ever loved, t
that loved not at first sight?.

christopher marlowe

The Bait

2006-02-02T07:21:00.001-08:00

The Bait

Come live with me, and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands, and crystal brooks,
With silken lines and silver hooks.
There will the river whisp'ring run
Warm'd by thy eyes, more than the sun ;
And there th' enamour'd fish will stay,
Begging themselves they may betray.
When thou wilt swim in that live bath,
Each fish, which every channel hath,
Will amorously to thee swim,
Gladder to catch thee, than thou him.
If thou, to be so seen, be'st loth,
By sun or moon, thou dark'nest both,
And if myself have leave to see,
I need not their light, having thee.
Let others freeze with angling reeds,
And cut their legs with shells and weeds,
Or treacherously poor fish beset,
With strangling snare, or windowy net.
Let coarse bold hands from slimy nest
The bedded fish in banks outwrest ;
Or curious traitors, sleevesilk flies,
Bewitch poor fishes' wand'ring eyes.
For thee, thou need'st no such deceit,
For thou thyself art thine own bait :
That fish, that is not catch'd thereby,
Alas ! is wiser far than I.

john donne

Nothing Gold Can Stay

2006-02-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

robert frost

The Canonization

2006-02-02T07:20:00.001-08:00

The Canonization

For God's sake hold your tongue, and let me love ;
Or chide my palsy, or my gout ;
My five gray hairs, or ruin'd fortune flout ;
With wealth your state, your mind with arts improve ;
Take you a course, get you a place,
Observe his Honour, or his Grace ;
Or the king's real, or his stamp'd face
Contemplate ; what you will, approve,
So you will let me love.
Alas ! alas ! who's injured by my love?
What merchant's ships have my sighs drown'd?
Who says my tears have overflow'd his ground?
When did my colds a forward spring remove?
When did the heats which my veins fill
Add one more to the plaguy bill?
Soldiers find wars, and lawyers find out still
Litigious men, which quarrels move,
Though she and I do love.
Call's what you will, we are made such by love ;
Call her one, me another fly,
We're tapers too, and at our own cost die,
And we in us find th' eagle and the dove.
The phoenix riddle hath more wit
By us ; we two being one, are it ;
So, to one neutral thing both sexes fit.
We die and rise the same, and prove
Mysterious by this love.
We can die by it, if not live by love,
And if unfit for tomb or hearse
Our legend be, it will be fit for verse ;
And if no piece of chronicle we prove,
We'll build in sonnets pretty rooms ;
As well a wellwrought urn becomes
The greatest ashes, as halfacre tombs,
And by these hymns, all shall approve
Us canonized for love ;
And thus invoke us, "You, whom reverend love
Made one another's hermitage ;
You, to whom love was peace, that now is rage ;
Who did the whole world's soul contract, and drove
Into the glasses of your eyes ;
So made such mirrors, and such spies,
That they did all to you epitomize—
Countries, towns, courts beg from above
A pattern of your love."

john donne

The Computation

2006-02-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

The Computation

For my first twenty years, since yesterday,
I scarce believed thou couldst be gone away ;
For forty more I fed on favours past,
And forty on hopes that thou wouldst they might last ;
Tears drown'd one hundred, and sighs blew out two ;
A thousand, I did neither think nor do,
Or not divide, all being one thought of you ;
Or in a thousand more, forgot that too.
Yet call not this long life ; but think that I
Am, by being dead, immortal ; can ghosts die?.

john donne

The Flea

2006-02-02T07:19:00.000-08:00

The Flea

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.
O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that selfmurder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.
Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.

john donne

A Fever

2006-02-02T07:17:00.000-08:00

A Fever

O! Do not die, for I shall hate
All women so, when thou art gone,
That thee I shall not celebrate,
When I remember thou wast one.
But yet thou canst not die, I know ;
To leave this world behind, is death ;
But when thou from this world wilt go,
The whole world vapours with thy breath.
Or if, when thou, the world's soul, go'st,
It stay, 'tis but thy carcase then ;
The fairest woman, but thy ghost,
But corrupt worms, the worthiest men.
O wrangling schools, that search what fire
Shall burn this world, had none the wit
Unto this knowledge to aspire,
That this her feaver might be it?.
And yet she cannot waste by this,
Nor long bear this torturing wrong,
For more corruption needful is,
To fuel such a fever long.
These burning fits but meteors be,
Whose matter in thee is soon spent ;
Thy beauty, and all parts, which are thee,
Are unchangeable firmament.
Yet 'twas of my mind, seizing thee,
Though it in thee cannot perséver ;
For I had rather owner be
Of thee one hour, than all else ever.

john donne

I Am Not Alone

2006-02-02T07:16:00.000-08:00

I Am Not Alone

The night, it is desertedfrom the mountains to the sea.
But I, the one who rocks you, I am not alone!.
The sky, it is desertedfor the moon falls to the sea.
But I, the one who holds you,I am not alone!.
The world, it is deserted.
All flesh is sad you see.
But I, the one who hugs you,I am not alone!.

Close To Me

2006-02-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

Close To Me

Little fleece of my flesh
that I wove in my womb,
little shivering fleece,
sleep close to me!.
The partridge sleeps in the clover
hearing its heart beat.
My breathing will not wake you.
Sleep close to me!.
Little trembling blade of grass
astonished to be alive,
don't leave my breast.
Sleep close to me!.
I who have lost everything
am now afraid to sleep.
Don't slip away from my arms.
Sleep close to me!.

Gabriela Mistral

Book Of Love - The Types

2006-02-02T07:07:00.000-08:00

Book Of Love - The Types

List, and in memory bearThese six fond loving pair.
Love, when aroused, kept trueRustan and Rad!
Strangers approach from farJoseph and Suleika;
Love, void of hope, is inFerhad and Schirin.
Born for each other areMedschnun and Lily;
Loving, though old and grey,Dschemil saw Boteinah.
Love's sweet caprice anon,Brown maid and Solomon!
If thou dost mark them well,Stronger thy love will swell.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Clenched Soul

2006-02-02T07:06:00.000-08:00

Clenched Soul

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
The fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
Burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
In that sadness of mine that, you know.
Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?

Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly?
When I am sad and feel you are far away?
The book fell, that always closed at twilight
And my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.
Always, always you recede through the evenings
Toward the twilight, erasing statues.

Lovely one.

2006-02-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

Lovely one.

Lovely one,
There is nothing like your hips,
Perhaps earth has
In some hidden place
The curve and the fragrance of your body,
Perhaps in some place,
Lovely one.

Lovely one, my lovely one,
Your voice, your skin, your nails,
Lovely one, my lovely one,
Your being, your light, your shadow,
Lovely one,
All that is mine, lovely one,
All that is mine, my dear,
When you walk or rest,
When you sing or sleep,
When you suffer or dream,
Always,
When you are near or far,
Always,
You are mine, my lovely one,
Always.

And Now You´re Mine

2006-02-02T07:04:00.001-08:00

And Now You´re Mine

And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream.
Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.
The night turns on its invisible wheels,
And you are pure beside me as a sleeping ember.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,
We will go together, over the waters of time.
No one else will travel through the shadows with me,
Only you, ever green, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists
And let their soft drifting signs drop away;
Your eyes closed like two gray wings, and I move
After, following the folding water you carry, that carries
Me away. The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.
Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.

Love, We´re Going Home Now

2006-02-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

Love, We´re Going Home Now

Love, we're going home now,
Where the vines clamber over the trellis:
Even before you, the summer will arrive,
On its honeysuckle feet, in your bedroom.

Our nomadic kisses wandered over all the world:
Armenia, dollop of disinterred honey:
Ceylon, green dove: and the YangTse with its old
Old patience, dividing the day from the night.

And now, dearest, we return, across the crackling sea
Like two blind birds to their wall,
To their nest in a distant spring:

Because love cannot always fly without resting,
Our lives return to the wall, to the rocks of the sea:
Our kisses head back home where they belong.

Your Laughter

2006-02-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

Your Laughter

Take my breath away, if you wish,
Take the air away, but
Do not take your laughter away from me.

Do not take the rose away,
The lanceflower that you pluck,
The water that suddenly
Bursts forth in your joy,
The sudden wave
Of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
With tired eyes
At times from having seen
The unchanging earth,
But when your laughter enters
It rises to the sky seeking me
And it opens for me all
The doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
Hour your laughter
Opens, and if suddenly
You see my blood staining
The stones of the street
Laugh, because your laughter
Will be for my hands
Like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in autumn,
Your laughter must raise
Its foamy cascade,
And in spring, love,
I want your laughter like
The flower I was waiting for,
The blue flower, the rose
Of my echoing country.

Laugh in the night,
In the day, on the moon,
Laugh at the twisted
Streets of the island,
Laugh at this clumsy
Boy who loves you,
But when I open
My eyes and close them,
When my steps go,
When my steps return,
Deny me bread, air,
Light, spring,
But never your laughter
For which I would die.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

2006-02-02T07:00:00.001-08:00

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

If Your Eyes Were Not The Colour Of The Moon

2006-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

If Your Eyes Were Not The Colour Of The Moon

If your eyes were not the colour of the moon,
Of a day full of clay, and work, and fire,
If even held in you did not move in agile grace like the air,
If you were not an amber week,

Not the yellow moment
When autumn climbs up through the vines;
If you were not that bread the fragrant moon
Kneads, sprinkling its flour across the sky

Oh, my dearest, I would not love you so!
But when I hold you I hold everything that is,
Sand, time, the tree of the rain,

Everything is alive so that I can be alive:
Without moving I can see it all:
In your life I see everything that lives.

pablo neruda

The Queen

2006-02-02T06:58:00.000-08:00

The Queen
I have named you queen.
There are taller than you, taller.
There are purer than you, purer.
There are lovelier than you, lovelier.
But you are the queen.

When you go through the streets
No one recognizes you.
No one sees your crystal crown, no one looks
At the carpet of red gold
That you tread as you pass,
The nonexistent carpet.

And when you appear
All the rivers sound
In my body, bells
Shake the sky,
And a hymn fills the world.

Only you and I,
Only you and I, my love,
Listen to me.

Pablo neruda

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? (Sonnet 18)

2006-01-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? (Sonnet 18)

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

William Shakespeare

Sonnet 130: My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun

2006-01-27T07:39:00.000-08:00

Sonnet 130: My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know,
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

William Shakespeare

2006-01-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

A Pretty Woman
I.
That fawn-skin-dappled hair of hers,And the blue eyeDear and dewy,And that infantine fresh air of hers!
II.
To think men cannot take you, Sweet,And enfold you,Ay, and hold you,And so keep you what they make you, Sweet!
III
You like us for a glance, you know---For a word's sakeOr a sword's sake,All's the same, whate'er the chance, you know.
IV.
And in turn we make you ours, we say---You and youth too,Eyes and mouth too,All the face composed of flowers, we say.
V.
All's our own, to make the most of, Sweet---Sing and say for,Watch and pray for,Keep a secret or go boast of, Sweet!
VI.
But for loving, why, you would not, Sweet,Though we prayed you,Paid you, brayed youin a mortar---for you could not, Sweet!
VII.
So, we leave the sweet face fondly there:Be its beautyIts sole duty!Let all hope of grace beyond, lie there!
VIII.
And while the face lies quiet there,Who shall wonderThat I ponderA conclusion? I will try it there.
IX.
As,---why must one, for the love foregone,Scout mere liking?Thunder-strikingEarth,---the heaven, we looked above for, gone!
X.
Why, with beauty, needs there money be,Love with liking?Crush the fly-kingIn his gauze, because no honey-bee?
XI.
May not liking be so simple-sweet,If love grew there'Twould undo thereAll that breaks the cheek to dimples sweet?
XII.
Is the creature too imperfect,Would you mend itAnd so end it?Since not all addition perfects aye!
XIII.
Or is it of its kind, perhaps,Just perfection---Whence, rejectionOf a grace not to its mind, perhaps?
XIV.
Shall we burn up, tread that face at onceInto tinder,And so hinderSparks from kindling all the place at once?
XV.
Or else kiss away one's soul on her?Your love-fancies!---A sick man seesTruer, when his hot eyes roll on her!
XVI.
Thus the craftsman thinks to grace the rose,---Plucks a mould-flowerFor his gold flower,Uses fine things that efface the rose:
XVII.
Rosy rubies make its cup more rose,Precious metalsApe the petals,---Last, some old king locks it up, morose!
XVIII.
Then how grace a rose? I know a way!Leave it, rather. Must you gather?Smell, kiss, wear it---at last, throw away!

Robert Browning

Song

2006-01-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

Song

I.
Nay but you, who do not love her,
Is she not pure gold, my mistress?
Holds earth aught---speak truth---above her?
Aught like this tress, see, and this tress,
And this last fairest tress of all,So fair, see, ere I let it fall?
II.
Because, you spend your lives in praising;
To praise, you search the wide world over:
Then why not witness, calmly gazing,
If earth holds aught---speak truth---above her?
Above this tress, and this, I touch
But cannot praise, I love so much!

Robert Browning